What in hell?

You lookin' fiiiiine. You be lookin' like you enjoyin' all dem drinks I been buyin' foya, from down here at my end of the bar.. yeah, baby. You lookin' like you want ta chat a bit, nyah?

Naw, naw, girl. Don't be shy, I'm not like those othamen. I'mabout ta relax you with my fine woo-lines, and then we can get it awn.

Yeah, baby. Yeah. I gotta ask, did it hurt? I mean, did it hurt when your daddy stole the stars from the sky and put 'em in your eyes? Those soulful, baby lady eyes? Yeah. Daaaaamn.

No, no, baby, no, what I meant was, your daddy must've been a thief, girl! 'Cause he makes me want to change the damn alphabet, put U and I together. Uh-huh. Real.

See, what I'm tryin' ta say is, do you want to have some pizza? When you fell right outta heaven and left them other angels behind? What? Don't you like 'Za?

Haaaaaa, I just foolin' baby. You know you got nice shoes. No? Would you like some? Yeah! I got you baby, I ain't even Irish! Ladies love it all the damn time! Mmmm.

Comeon now baby, it's time ta get our freak on! Mmmm. And I ain't talkin' 'bout no unfortunate deformed boy, no ma'am. I ain't talkin' 'bout some woman with a hormonal imbalance that gives her a beard, nah, no short little midget-dude and his sassy midget wife. I ain't talkin' 'bout payin' money to view abnormal people fo' a cheap thrill.

Naw, baby, when I say it's time ta get our freak on, I mean it's time fo' tha intacourse. It's time ta stimulate each otha's genitalia, in prep-o-ration for tha co-i-tus. And I don' mean no procreative freakin' neither, naah. I intends ta use me some protection, 'cause even though you say you'se on tha Pill, I still don't wants ta take no chances, Frances. I mean, Charlene.

Aww hell, baby. It don' matter whatcho name is. You know we's gonna copulate. Uh-huh. Mmmm. Daaaaaamn.

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Mood: You know it, ladybaby

Today's xkcd hits a little too close to home. It's a behavior I grew out of more than six years ago, but it's still painful to see it put so bluntly. Ahh well, onward and upward, and all that.

Current Location: ShaveLab 3000
Current Mood: anxious