What in hell?

Yes, it's the first-ever ounceofreason Tattoo Post. As I understand it, blogging is a key part of the tattoo process, and it takes at least three posts before a tattoo can be applied. So, this is number one: The Background Post.

I've been wary of tattoos until now, because I have terrible taste in lifestyles. My rule of thumb is to pick a design and then wait a year to see if I still like it, and the last two choices have lasted about six weeks. Giant celtic knotwork dragon? I am very glad I didn't get you. Two lines of a musical score? It's an OK concept, but my favorite score is about as constant as my favorite everything else, so the best I could do is just get the bar lines inked, and then draw in notes with a magic marker depending on what mood I was in.

Actually, that's pretty awesome.

The current candidate is this guy:



The designer is an animal-rights activist, so what the drawing means to me is a lot different from what it means to him. Like most "deeper meanings," I'm afraid that it will lose something in translation if I try to explain it here (so, get me drunk, I guess), but the gist is it fits in with the Taoism. I'm still not sure what I think about the idea of Enlightenment*, but the idea of breaking the cycle of birth and rebirth resonates very strongly with me. I don't quite have it in words yet, but I equate freeing oneself from doubt and uncertainty with freeing oneself from death. Hence the caption "Liberation," which I've considered changing but can't find anything better.

It's here where I realize I don't know anything at all about actually getting a tattoo. How do you pick an artist? Where should it go? Etc, etc. So, in a year or so, I'll probably be needing the advice of more experienced tattooees who can help me find a good place, and then tell me how brave I was for only screaming a little bit each time the needle goes in.

Thanks Internet! I know I could count on you.

*My current take is that focusing on Enlightenment will not bring it any closer; rather, Enlightenment is reached by living life. The better you get at being human, the closer you become to Enlightenment, although being a great person may just be a way station, one step on a larger journey.

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Music: The Decemberists - The Crane Wife

Or I may have done something horrible.

It's a new word: "Weblish", which means to publish online, usually in an official or paid capacity. As in "Hey, McSweeney's finally weblished my SotW profile!", or "Sally writes a lot of slash. Most of it just goes on fetish sites, but her Batman/Jack Shepard story got weblished on the Wall Street Journal site."

So it's kind of useful, as a contraction for online published, which will become more useful as time goes on. It's a portmanteau, which I generally like but I know some people hate them. It's also kind of horrible. I made it up, but I also think I hate it. So I'm putting it to a vote.

Poll #1383591 Moment of Truth
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Should "weblish" be a word?

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Mood: creative

Look! My favorite magazine likes me too! You can see proof of this on the bottom right corner right now, and for posterity (if they ever update the Subscriber of the Week again) here.

This is less random, but much more awesome, than the unexpected CS assignment that someone wrote about me ten years ago.

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Mood: Important!

Dear Gatorade,

Please, oh please oh please oh please, please make it stop. Stop airing that god-awful cartoon Tiger Woods commercial. It's horrifying. It's somehow worse than the Burger King mask guy rapping about Spongebob. Every time it airs an angel catches fire. Please, I'm begging you, I will buy any Gatorade product you want. Just stop airing it. Forever.

Clinging to sanity,
Eryk Nielsen

Current Location: Fort Victoria

So I made an error on my taxes, and my $430 refund has turned into a $170 deficit. Gaaaaaaaaaaaah. I will be able to eat and pay bills and whatnot, so all of my physical needs are met, but this basically destroys my discretionary spending for May (and possibly June, depending). It's amazing what not having spare cash does for one's sanity/outlook.

Seriously, does anyone want to hire a researcher for.. anything?

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Mood: Smooshed

I've been a fan of things since I was a kid, but only in the last few months have I started actually sending fan mail. I don't know what changed, or if awesome people even like reading how awesome I think they are, but it's awfully fun to write.

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Music: Dan Savage - Savage Love Podcast

Has anyone written a parody of the old Disney number "Zip-e-dee-doo-da" about wealthy moderate conservatives, that features the line "There's Mr. Bloomburg on my shoulder"? I don't know how the rest of it should go, but I feel like that line writes itself.

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Mood: Bloomburgian

Because she is awesome, Amanda has summed up my disappointment in Obama's handling of the banks very, very well.

Current Location: Fort Victoria

Something that I gripe about a lot to myself, but not to anyone else, is that my best writing, by far, seems to take place only in my head. Often on the last leg of travel (like today), but not always, I'll process the events of the day into something really nice and insightful - a poem that doesn't get written for a few days, or an essay that never comes out right. Tonight, inspired by conversations with R & E, as well as the first few paragraphs of an interview in last month's Believer, I had a meaty outline for a very convincing essay on video games as an art form, but now that I'm home it's late and I'm tired, so there's nothing for it. If it sticks around, I might try and put it down sometime this week, but if not, there's this paragraph as a reminder that I once compared "Shadow of the Colossus" to Monet's "Water Lillies."

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Music: Neko Case - The Tigers Have Spoken

You lookin' fiiiiine. You be lookin' like you enjoyin' all dem drinks I been buyin' foya, from down here at my end of the bar.. yeah, baby. You lookin' like you want ta chat a bit, nyah?

Naw, naw, girl. Don't be shy, I'm not like those othamen. I'mabout ta relax you with my fine woo-lines, and then we can get it awn.

Yeah, baby. Yeah. I gotta ask, did it hurt? I mean, did it hurt when your daddy stole the stars from the sky and put 'em in your eyes? Those soulful, baby lady eyes? Yeah. Daaaaamn.

No, no, baby, no, what I meant was, your daddy must've been a thief, girl! 'Cause he makes me want to change the damn alphabet, put U and I together. Uh-huh. Real.

See, what I'm tryin' ta say is, do you want to have some pizza? When you fell right outta heaven and left them other angels behind? What? Don't you like 'Za?

Haaaaaa, I just foolin' baby. You know you got nice shoes. No? Would you like some? Yeah! I got you baby, I ain't even Irish! Ladies love it all the damn time! Mmmm.

Comeon now baby, it's time ta get our freak on! Mmmm. And I ain't talkin' 'bout no unfortunate deformed boy, no ma'am. I ain't talkin' 'bout some woman with a hormonal imbalance that gives her a beard, nah, no short little midget-dude and his sassy midget wife. I ain't talkin' 'bout payin' money to view abnormal people fo' a cheap thrill.

Naw, baby, when I say it's time ta get our freak on, I mean it's time fo' tha intacourse. It's time ta stimulate each otha's genitalia, in prep-o-ration for tha co-i-tus. And I don' mean no procreative freakin' neither, naah. I intends ta use me some protection, 'cause even though you say you'se on tha Pill, I still don't wants ta take no chances, Frances. I mean, Charlene.

Aww hell, baby. It don' matter whatcho name is. You know we's gonna copulate. Uh-huh. Mmmm. Daaaaaamn.

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Mood: You know it, ladybaby

( These should help you get past the Second Caverns. )

Current Location: Fort Victoria
Current Mood: amused

In an effort to reconnect with myself, I have decided to renew my inexplicable childhood obsession with The Swiss Colony. I no longer wish to receive any gift or favor that does not take the form of ridiculous assortments of often-disappointing treats. It's nothing but sausages, cheese spreads, petits fours, and the legendary Original Chocolate Dobosh Torte from here on out, folks. Wish me luck!

Current Mood: inspired
Current Music: Fort Victoria

I've got a little under an hour of employment left. I've finished all of my desk-cleaning, data-archiving, stuff-only-I-can-do-documenting, and even finished an extra project, so now I'm just waiting for my boss to get back so we can all wait out the clock together.

I hope the engineering job comes through. I think I can find a temp job at MGH or somewhere similar to keep me busy until I find out.. if not, I can survive on unemployment (barely) until something else comes along. I've got my Monster, I've got my craigslist, I've got my skills. It'll be okay.

But no amount of "it'll be okay" can chase away the fear. This is not okay. Money is scary, or maybe terrifying, but it's not just that. I've always felt like I'm the failure of my family, the loser youngest sibling who everyone else props up. Losing my job at Christmas does not mix well with this.

I used to think of myself as someone who is open and able to talk about my troubles, but that's really not true. That feeling of being a burden extends to my friends as well.. I don't know how to ask for or receive help in times like this. I spent most of the day on the verge of a breakdown (I'm feeling better now), but I don't want anyone to know just how close I am to collapse. I spent too much time agonizing too loudly over too little; now that I have legitimate reasons to feel terrible, I feel like I've cried wolf too many times to deserve sympathy or aid. I don't want to be a burden.

M convinced me to meet her and the rest of the MGH crew at the Beer Works this afternoon, which is a good idea. Not that I want to be unemployed at the bar, but an afternoon laughing with friends is a better way to start this than anything I'd do on my own.

I hate feeling weak.

Current Location: ShaveLab 3000
Current Mood: sad

It's the end of the year, so here's some bullet-pointed crap for you.

Things Which I Continue to Like
* Baked Goods
* Serial Dramas
* Words That Begin With Capital Letters
* A Healthy Obsession With People Who Are Unhealthily Obsessed With Pop Culture
* Giant Snowstorms
* Unwatchably Bad Movies
* Cats, Goddamn It. Motherfucking Cats. I Like Them.
* Olde Englishe Christmase Carolese
* Curling, But Only As An Ironic Counterculture Appreciation Of A Past-time That Is Widely Mocked In My Country
* Top Chef
* Creative Profanity In The Form Of Ridiculous Compound Swear Words That Don't Really Make Sense When At Face Value
* Sectaurs

Things Of Which I Am Not Overly Fond
* Indigestion
* Lack of Daylight
* Pop Culture Phenomena Of Which I Have Not Partaken, Yet Somehow About Which I Have Comedic Dreams Anyway
* The Chipmonk Song
* Dress Shoes That Lack Traction In The Snow
* The Greater Depression
* Top Forty Radio
* The Word "Cankles"
* Meat Pies

Things About Which I Remain Curiously Ambivelant
* Gillette
* That Whole "Don't End A Clause With A Preposition" Thing
* Corporaterias
* The Term "Lady Garden"
* The Music Of Elton John
* Fire
* The Fact That, Having Finished My Tasks For This Week, I Have Essentially Finished All Of My Tasks For This Job, Ever.
* Actual Cankles
* Spore
* Liposuction
* Trapezoids

Current Location: ShaveLab 3000
Current Mood: pensive

I ordered Xmas gifts for half the family last week from Amazon, and last night it occured to me, "where my stuff at?" So I checked their tracking and saw that it was delivered on Monday, at 5:19 pm.

Except that it wasn't. I worked an early day Monday, and got home before 4:30. Never heard a knock on the door. One of my housemates got home at 5:30, and saw nothing. I still need to ask my landlady if maybe she got the box my mistake (she lived upstairs from us, and we share a porch), but I'd be surprised if she got the package and didn't notify me.

USPS claims it was delivered to Somerville, 02143, but I live in Somerville, 02144 - I wonder if they delivered it to [my street] Ave., instead of [my street] Street, or some other simple mistake?

This is very obnoxious - there's about $75 worth of stuff in there, which I can't really afford to spend again as I'm getting laid off in a few days. Even if USPS decides to reimburse and I can get the package replaced, it still won't arrive in time for Xmas. And I can guarantee they won't reimburse - they marked the package as Delivered, and little things like reality seldom get in the way of that.

Fucking December!!!

Current Location: ShaveLab 3000
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: USPS hold music

Back in the day, there was 2dm, and it was good. I still use it for my email address! The best part of 2dm, though, was the blog. Mostly used be me, Shawn, and our local friends, it was a collection of in-jokes and event scheduling, with the occasional rant or LJ cross-post. Good times. Unfortunately, the school where Shawn worked decided they didn't like their employees having hobbies, and after one of his students found it via Google search, he had to take it down.

Lame.

So now there's a new friends-blog, one that Google will never tie to us. I can't give out the URL, because that would tie it to my name, and then maybe Shawn's. He's at a new, much less retarded school now, but why take the risk? So we all blog under ridiculous made-up names, mentioning vague geographic locations but never anything identifying. It's kind of awesome.

I just wrote what may be my best post of December, but I can't show it to you here. However, if anyone wants to join the stupidity, send me an email and I'll see about getting you an account.

Current Location: ShaveLab 3000
Current Mood: pleased

Many's the time I've been mistaken
And many times confused
Yes, and I've often felt forsaken
And certainly misused
Oh, but I'm all right, I'm all right
I'm just weary to my bones
Still, you don't expect to be
Bright and bon vivant
So far away from home, so far away from home

And I don't know a soul who's not been battered
I don't have a friend who feels at ease
I don't know a dream that's not been shattered
or driven to its knees
but it's all right, it's all right
for we lived so well so long
Still, when I think of the
road we're traveling on
I wonder what's gone wrong
I can't help it, I wonder what's gone wrong

And I dreamed I was dying
I dreamed that my soul rose unexpectedly
And looking back down at me
Smiled reassuringly
And I dreamed I was flying
And high up above my eyes could clearly see
The Statue of Liberty
Sailing away to sea
And I dreamed I was flying

We come on the ship they call the Mayflower
We come on the ship that sailed the moon
We come in the age's most uncertain hours
and sing an American tune
Oh, and it's alright, it's all right, it's all right
You can't be forever blessed
Still, tomorrow's going to be another working day
And I'm trying to get some rest
That's all I'm trying to get some rest

--Paul Simon, American Tune All rights reserved, etc.

Current Location: ShaveLab 3000

Today's xkcd hits a little too close to home. It's a behavior I grew out of more than six years ago, but it's still painful to see it put so bluntly. Ahh well, onward and upward, and all that.

Current Location: ShaveLab 3000
Current Mood: anxious

No commentary this time around, but since I weighed in last, time, I might as well do it again: having looked at the 2nd bailout request by the "Big Three" U.S. auto manufacturers, I support the plan. It's vastly better than what we gave Wall Street, at under 5% the cost. It also may be the difference between recession and depression, something I didn't realize last time around.

Current Location: ShaveLab 3000
Current Mood: calm

I never noticed this before, but how fucked up is it that Ronald Reagan has an airport named after him? Isn't that like having a George C. Wallace Center For African-American Studies?

Current Location: ShaveLab 3000
Current Mood: puzzled